“300”
Rated R
Now playing
**

I never expected there to be a moment when the sight of a disembodied head wouldn’t be astounding to me. But 45 minutes into “300,” I was proven tragically wrong.

“300” is the bloody adaptation of Frank Miller’s graphic novel of the same name, which tells the story of the Battle of Thermopylae. In 480 BC, 300 Spartans, led by King Leonidas (played by Gerald Butler), fought against enormous odds and countless thousands of soldiers commanded by the Persian emperor Xerxes.

(Photo: King Leonidas, right, leads the Spartan army against their Persian enemies in "300." Credit: Warner Bros.)

STRIKING IMAGES: Visually, this movie is an incredible accomplishment. Without sound, it would have been arguably better. The coloring and the use of computer-generated green-screen effects perfectly re-creates the feel of Miller’s graphic novel and gives “300” a unique feel.

The battles are similarly dazzling. Shining spears and flashing swords make art out of what would otherwise be a bloody spectacle.

It’s amazing to think that most of this movie was filmed in a warehouse thousands of miles from Greece.

LACKING SUBSTANCE: The downside comes when the actors open their mouths in an attempt to justify two hours of brutal combat. The film simply oozes testosterone -- without providing anything that remotely resembles a good plot or decent dialogue.

I was overwhelmed by the countless cheesy one-liners that I would have expected more from a 1980s James Bond movie.

The movie also desperately pushes a “war for freedom” theme that, despite giving Americans a timely link to help relate to the movie, feels contrived and forced.

It probably would be best to watch “300“ on a sedative so you won’t have the painful experience of having to think beyond the dismembered limbs. During scenes lacking action, the plot was so bad that I found myself playing the “find an actor without a six-pack” game.

THE BOTTOM LINE: “300” is a great movie for a guys-night-out. The combination of intense violence and gorgeous, partially clothed women makes this a pubescent boy’s dream come true. Just don’t go expecting anything else aside from a mindless action flick.

-- John Runkel, Sacred Heart Prep, Atherton