Hillary-haters and Obama-bashers! Would you like to Mace McCain? Gut Giuliani? Or perhaps lead one of them to a 50-state electoral victory? 

Who wouldn't like to see a Clinton-Condi slugfest or watch Russ Feingold lay a smackdown on John Edwards?

My household has only recently become a game-console household.  But since my brother acquired a shiny white Xbox 360, I've been thinking how much more fun video games would be if game-makers were a little less shy to exercise their right to politically satirical speech. 

Game goliaths, I am pitching you an idea (steal it if you must, just make sure I get a free copy of the game before the debates):

”Election Smackdown 2008!”

Three Republicans. Four Democrats. Two major-party nominations.  One winner gains the power to rule the free world for the next four years with the shadowy arms of the NSA. 

Confront your opponents in closed-ring, one-on-one showdowns -- swing left! swing right! pander to your base! -- or enter a multi-player free-for-all. 

When democracy gets physical, America wins.

Player 1: Barack Obama
Party: Democrat
Role: Junior senator (Illinois)
Game play: Use Obama's “bask in diversity” power-up to boost your poll numbers before laying a smackdown with the "write best-selling book" combo move!

Player 2: Hillary Clinton
Party: Democrat
Role: Effigy senator (New York)
Game play: Clinton’s most consistent move, "infuriate Republicans," is so easy to execute, you don't have to press any buttons!  Just be careful how many Republicans you let near her -- her presence might motivate them to vote.

Player 3: John McCain
Party: Republican
Role: Veteran senator (Arizona)
Game play: Dress McCain in "maverick suit," stick to "compare war experience" move and McCain will lay a smackdown on any opponent!

Player 4: Condoleezza Rice
Party: Republican
Role: Sith Lord (Korriban, Outer Rim Territories)
Game play: With Rice's "I'm not running" invisibility shield, you can fool your opponents while wielding federal power against them!

Player 5: Rudy Giuliani
Party: Republican
Role: Has-been mayor (New York City)
Game play: Giuliani only has one attack, but it's a goody.  Press "A" again and again to rapid-fire "talk about 9/11"!

Player 6: Russ Feingold
Party: Democrat
Role: Junior senator (Wisconsin)
Game play: Feingold has a lot of attacks up his sleeves.  But if you're just playing for fun, use the "sacrifice liberal values to appeal to mainstream American voters" cheat to make him self-destruct in the center of the screen!

Player 7: John Edwards
Party: Democrat
Role: Has-been senator  (North Carolina)
Game play: Edwards' "adorable smile" power-attack packs a punch!  Use the attack on Player 4 and see if she melts!

Winner gets to fix the war in Iraq!

Rachel Wolf is a senior at Palo Alto High School. Her column, “Wolf Bytes,” is published on this blog the first Monday of every month.